My Story
I’m the mother of five beautiful children and wife to an incredible husband. I make movies, write books, and mentor individuals, helping them create peace and purpose in their lives. From the outside, my life may seem enviable. But for thirteen years, I lived a life no one would want.
My experience wasn’t a single event or a life-changing incident that happened in the blink of an eye, but rather a journey into the darkest corner of the universe followed by a victorious emergence into the most luminous light. That journey began when my toddler son was diagnosed with a major disability. Four years later at the young age of twenty-six, three of my four children had been diagnosed with Fragile X Syndrome – a genetic disorder which manifests in significant cognitive deficits, autism, and a host of behavioral and physical symptoms. My life’s dreams as well as any vision of a normal life were completely shattered.
As full-time caregiver, I worked around the clock to meet the demands of my children’s often destructive, violent behaviors and intensive needs in a locked-up home environment akin to a prison. For thirteen years I existed in a non-stop routine of diaper changes, feedings, doctor’s visits, medications, therapies, meetings, frantic days and sleepless nights. I saw my children struggle to perform even the simplest tasks, feeling their pain and overwhelming frustrations. I experienced the stinging remarks of strangers every time I went out in public with them. And I felt the searing shame of believing I was a failure as a mother.
However, there was a side of this life that was in stark contrast to the violent behaviors and piercing frustrations, an unexpected aspect which took my breath away and revealed to me a beautiful and rare side of humanity. I saw in my children a sense of innocence so pure and potent, it transcended all the sorrow and defeat I faced on a daily basis. I sensed an other-worldly presence in my home which surrounded my special children; the veil between earth and heaven grew virtually transparent. And I experienced a penetrating change within myself – from a naïve young woman who dreamed of a glamorous life in the spotlight to a woman of unspeakable courage who learned to love the unlovable and see the beauty in the fragile.
Then, unexpectedly, a fifth child was born to me – a daughter who was not disabled, representing new promise and hope for my life. Despite the miracles and amazing experiences with my children, however, I continued to decline under the tremendous weight of caring for their intense needs hour after hour, year after year. The physical abuse I was subjected to by them coupled with the extreme isolation of our home environment served to deplete me of my will to live. Eventually, immersed in despair and profound neglect, I found myself on the edge of death. Only then did the most miraculous aspect of my journey emerge…
Through a powerful act orchestrated from beyond the grave, my life was saved and I was given a second chance. However, everything in my world had been stripped from me – my family, my friends, my religion, and my marriage. Immediately I began to rebuild a new life. With the help of the angel guide who rescued me, my life’s purpose was revealed to me and I was shown a rare view of my children’s eternal identity.
Today I share my message of hope and inspiration through my work as an Actress, Author, Filmmaker, and Mentor. I am very grateful for the opportunity to serve others in this way. By sharing my story of triumph over tragedy and transcending the impossible, I invite others to transcend and triumph, illuminating the darkness of our world and bringing to the surface the invincible spirit and divine nature of humankind. By so doing, this becomes our story, yours and mine.
We are all waking angels.
Watch for LeeAnn Taylor’s new book due out in 2011, The Fragile Face of God, which chronicles her poignant life’s journey, the extraordinary circumstances which saved her life, and reveals the divine insights given to her by her angel guide.